12 Signs You Come Off As Socially Awkward & How To Level Up

Social interactions can sometimes feel like navigating a maze, especially if you’ve ever felt like you didn’t quite fit in or struggled to connect with others. If you’ve ever wondered why you come off as socially awkward, you’re not alone. Many people deal with similar feelings, but the good news is that with awareness and practice, you can improve your social skills and feel more confident in social settings. Here are 12 signs you might come off as socially awkward and how to level up your social game.

1. You Avoid Eye Contact

One of the most noticeable signs of social awkwardness is avoiding eye contact during conversations. When you avoid looking someone in the eyes, it can send the message that you’re disinterested, insecure, or unsure of yourself. However, eye contact is essential for building trust and connection with others. If this is something you struggle with, start small by practicing brief eye contact, gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable.

Leveling up here involves balancing eye contact. Staring intensely can also make people uncomfortable, so aim for natural, relaxed eye contact that feels appropriate for the situation. Remember, it’s not about holding eye contact for long periods but about conveying attentiveness and confidence through your gaze. Practice with friends or in the mirror to help improve your comfort level. According to PMC, eye contact increases prosocial behavior and self-awareness, fostering better social interactions.

2. You Speak Too Softly Or Too Loudly

Speaking too softly can make it difficult for others to hear you and may give the impression that you’re shy or lacking confidence. On the other hand, speaking too loudly can come across as overbearing or awkward. If you find yourself struggling with this balance, consider how you’re projecting your voice. Try to match your volume to the situation, ensuring that you’re heard without overwhelming others.

To level up, focus on moderating your volume based on the environment and the person you’re talking to. Practice speaking at a comfortable volume where you’re easily heard but not straining your voice or causing discomfort. In group settings, it’s okay to project your voice, but ensure you don’t overshadow others. Experiment with different speaking volumes to find what works best for you. According to Communication in the Real World, varying vocal delivery, including volume, is essential for engaging and clear communication.

3. You Overthink Your Words

Overthinking your words or hesitating before speaking is a classic sign of social awkwardness. When you’re constantly analyzing every word, it can make conversations feel stilted and unnatural. It’s important to remember that most people are more focused on what you’re saying than how you’re saying it. If you find yourself overthinking, try to shift your focus to the message you’re trying to communicate instead of the fear of making a mistake.

To level up, practice speaking more naturally by letting go of the need for perfection. Start by having more casual conversations, even with strangers, where the stakes are lower. The more you allow yourself to speak freely, the less pressure you’ll feel in future interactions. Embrace the idea that making mistakes in conversation is normal and part of the process of learning to connect better with others. According to Entrepreneur, reframing negative thoughts and carving out productive worry time are effective strategies for overcoming overthinking.

4. You Don’t Know How To Keep A Conversation Going

Finding yourself struggling to keep a conversation going is another sign of social awkwardness. You might experience uncomfortable silences or find it hard to know what to say next. This is common when you’re unsure about what the other person wants to talk about. To level up your conversation skills, develop the habit of asking open-ended questions that encourage the other person to elaborate and share more.

To get better at this, practice active listening. When you show genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts, it naturally leads to a smoother conversation. If you’re unsure what to ask, try using follow-up questions that relate to what they’ve just shared. Conversations are a two-way street, so focus on creating a back-and-forth exchange that doesn’t rely solely on your responses. According to Asana, active listening helps foster meaningful dialogue and build stronger interpersonal connections through open-ended questions and attentive engagement techniques.

5. You Stand Too Close Or Too Far Away

Proximity can make or break a social interaction. Standing too close to someone can feel invasive, while standing too far away can make the interaction feel distant or disconnected. This is often a result of not being aware of personal space boundaries. The key to leveling up here is understanding that personal space varies depending on the person and situation.

To improve, start by observing how others position themselves in conversation. Pay attention to the distance people naturally keep in different social settings, and try to match that. In general, aim for a comfortable distance that respects personal space but still fosters connection. You can adjust your position as the conversation progresses to maintain comfort and engagement.

6. You Don’t Smile Enough

A lack of smiling can make you seem distant or uninterested in a conversation, even if that’s not the case. Smiling helps convey warmth and approachability, and it’s an important tool in making social interactions feel more relaxed and friendly. If you find yourself holding back from smiling, it might be a sign that you’re overthinking the situation or feeling nervous.

To level up, practice smiling more naturally, even during casual interactions. Start by focusing on the positive aspects of the conversation, allowing yourself to express genuine enjoyment. Smiling doesn’t have to be forced; it can simply reflect your interest or comfort level with the conversation. As you become more at ease, your smile will naturally become more authentic.

7. You Struggle With Small Talk

Small talk is often the first step in forming social connections, but for many, it feels tedious or awkward. If you struggle to engage in small talk, you might find yourself giving one-word answers or avoiding it altogether. Small talk doesn’t have to be a big challenge if you approach it with a sense of curiosity about the other person.

To level up in this area, focus on finding common ground with the other person. Simple questions like “What do you do for fun?” or “Have you been to any good restaurants lately?” can open up the conversation. Small talk is meant to build rapport and doesn’t need to dive into deep topics. With practice, you’ll find that small talk can be a way to naturally transition to more meaningful conversations.

8. You Apologize Excessively

Constantly apologizing, even for minor things like taking up space or interrupting, can make you seem unsure of yourself. While it’s important to acknowledge when you make a mistake, excessive apologizing can come across as insecurity. If you find yourself saying “sorry” a lot, it may be a sign that you’re overcompensating for perceived social missteps.

To level up, focus on cultivating confidence in your presence and words. If you do make a mistake, a simple acknowledgment without over-apologizing is often more effective. You don’t need to apologize for existing or for taking up space in a conversation. Reducing unnecessary apologies will help you come off as more self-assured and comfortable in social settings.

9. You Fidget Or Display Nervous Habits

Fidgeting, playing with your hair, or tapping your feet during a conversation can indicate nervousness or discomfort. These habits can be distracting and signal to others that you’re not entirely comfortable in the social situation. It’s natural to feel nervous, but becoming aware of these habits can help you appear more composed and confident.

To level up, practice grounding techniques such as focusing on your breathing or standing still when you feel the urge to fidget. Start by noticing when you feel anxious and try to replace the fidgeting with calm, deliberate movements. The more you practice staying composed, the more confident you’ll appear, which can significantly improve your social interactions.

10. You Over-explain Yourself

Over-explaining your actions or opinions can make a conversation feel awkward or burdensome. While it’s normal to provide context, excessive explanations often come from a place of insecurity or fear of being misunderstood. If you find yourself rambling or giving too many details, it may be a sign that you’re not confident in your ability to communicate effectively.

To level up, aim for clarity and brevity in your communication. Trust that the other person understands you, and keep your explanations concise. When you feel the urge to over-explain, pause and assess whether it’s necessary. The more you practice delivering your message clearly, the more confident and engaging you’ll appear in conversations.

11. You Don’t Read Social Cues

Socially awkward individuals often struggle to pick up on non-verbal cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues are essential for understanding how someone else is feeling and adjusting your approach accordingly. Missing these cues can make conversations feel one-sided or disconnected, as the other person might feel ignored or misunderstood.

To level up, pay closer attention to the non-verbal signals others are sending. Are they leaning in or stepping back? Are they smiling or frowning? By becoming more aware of these subtle signals, you’ll be able to adapt your behavior to make the conversation flow more smoothly. Social cues are key to building rapport and connecting more deeply with others.

12. You Have Difficulty Ending Conversations

Ending a conversation can be just as awkward as starting one, especially if you’re unsure how to gracefully wrap it up. Prolonged conversations that don’t naturally come to a close can make both you and the other person uncomfortable. If you’re not sure how to exit a conversation without seeming rude, it may leave a negative impression.

To level up, practice using polite exit strategies like, “It was great talking to you, I hope we can catch up again soon.” Having a few simple ways to end a conversation will help you feel more confident and avoid lingering discomfort. With practice, you’ll learn how to gracefully leave a conversation without feeling socially awkward.