13 Tricky Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Playing Games With You

Between cryptic text messages and erratic behavior, it often seems like people are playing games rather than being straightforward. Whether in friendships, dating scenarios, or even at work, these puzzling actions can leave you questioning intentions and motives. The key is to recognize these tricky behaviors so you can decide how to address them and protect your emotional well-being. Here are 13 signs that someone might be playing games with you, enabling you to sidestep emotional rollercoasters and cultivate relationships that are genuine and fulfilling.

1. They Give You Mixed Signals

One of the most common tactics is sending mixed signals, leaving you perpetually guessing about where you stand. This could involve excessive interest one day, followed by radio silence the next, making you question what went wrong. According to Psychology Today, such behavior is often a form of emotional manipulation intended to keep you off-balance and craving confirmation. When actions consistently contradict words, it’s a signal they might be enjoying the control they have over your emotions. By recognizing this pattern, you can choose to either confront them or distance yourself from the inconsistency.

Mixed signals can be emotionally exhausting because they consume your mental bandwidth. You spend more time analyzing their behavior than enjoying the relationship, which is neither healthy nor sustainable. If you notice these patterns, it might be beneficial to have an open conversation about how their actions make you feel. Sometimes, people aren’t aware of the impact of their behavior, and a simple dialogue can lead to a resolution. However, if the behavior persists, it may be time to reconsider the worthiness of the relationship to your emotional health.

2. They’re Playing Hard To Get

The art of playing hard to get is as old as time but can be incredibly frustrating. While some believe that this adds a layer of intrigue, it often just leads to confusion and tension. If someone is always unavailable, canceling plans last minute, or showing up late without explanation, they might be playing games. The aim here is to keep you hooked by creating an illusion of scarcity, making you work harder for their attention. Recognizing this can help you decide whether to engage in the game or walk away.

Engaging with someone who plays hard to get often leaves you feeling like you’re chasing a mirage. The fleeting moments of connection followed by periods of absence can be emotionally draining. It’s essential to understand that this isn’t a reflection of your worth but rather a tactic some people use to exert control. By choosing not to participate, you free yourself from the cycle of doubt and uncertainty. Instead, focus on relationships where mutual respect and availability are the norms, not the exceptions.

3. They’ve Resorted To Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing involves sending out intermittent signs of interest—just enough to keep someone around, but not enough to foster a genuine connection. This can be as simple as an occasional flirty text or social media comment. According to Dr. Jess Carbino, a relationship expert interviewed by Bustle, breadcrumbing often serves as a way for people to keep their options open while ensuring they still have someone on the line. This behavior can leave you feeling undervalued and uncertain about where you stand. Recognizing breadcrumbing is vital so that you can avoid falling into a cycle of false hope.

If you find yourself always waiting for the next breadcrumb, it’s a red flag that more is at play. This tactic keeps you emotionally invested without providing any real substance, ultimately leading to repeated disappointment. When you recognize this behavior, it can be empowering to take control and set boundaries. A direct conversation about your needs and expectations may help clarify the situation. If not, it’s a clear sign to step back and redirect your energy toward those who offer more substantial and meaningful interactions.

4. They’re Intentionally Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone makes you question your reality and perceptions. This can be subtle at first, such as denying events or feelings you know to be true. Over time, it can erode your confidence and make you dependent on their version of events. This behavior is particularly insidious because it undermines your sense of self, making it challenging to recognize what’s happening. By understanding gaslighting, you empower yourself to trust your instincts and seek relationships built on honesty and mutual respect.

Often, gaslighting requires you to constantly seek validation or reassurance from the person engaging in this behavior. This can lead to a cycle where your self-esteem is heavily reliant on their approval. It’s crucial to seek objective viewpoints from friends or therapists who can offer clarity. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting allows you to reclaim your narrative and avoid being manipulated into a skewed perception of reality. Surrounding yourself with people who appreciate and affirm your experiences can provide a more balanced and healthy emotional environment.

5. They’re Love Bombing You Big Time

Love bombing is an intense, overwhelming display of affection at the beginning of a relationship. It often involves grand gestures, constant communication, and declarations of deep feelings. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, love bombing is a form of manipulation that aims to quickly establish control before withdrawing the affection. While it can feel intoxicating at first, the abrupt change in behavior leaves you confused and hurt. Recognizing love bombing allows you to maintain perspective and slow down the relationship’s pace for your emotional safety.

The challenge with love bombing is that it’s easy to overlook the red flags when you’re bombarded with attention and affection. It creates an illusion of a perfect relationship, which can be hard to resist. However, the sudden changes in behavior can be destabilizing and lead to feelings of inadequacy. Establishing boundaries early on is essential to protect your emotional well-being. Take your time to evaluate whether actions align with words before fully investing in the relationship.

6. They’re Doing The Ghosting Thing

Ghosting is the ultimate disappearing act, where someone suddenly cuts off all communication without explanation. This behavior can be particularly hurtful because it leaves you without closure. The abrupt silence can lead you to question every interaction and wonder what went wrong. Ghosting is often a way for people to avoid uncomfortable conversations or confrontations. Recognizing that ghosting says more about the other person than it does about you can help alleviate the sting.

While ghosting is common in dating, it can occur in friendships and professional relationships as well. The lack of communication leaves a void, often filled with self-doubt and confusion. Understanding that ghosting is a reflection of the other person’s inability to communicate effectively can help you move forward. Accepting the situation and focusing on relationships with open lines of communication is essential. Always prioritize your emotional health by surrounding yourself with people who value conversation and respect.

7. They’re Communicating In A Passive-Aggressive Way

Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of expressing negative feelings indirectly rather than openly addressing them. This can manifest as backhanded compliments, sarcasm, or subtle digs that leave you second-guessing your own perceptions. The American Psychological Association highlights that passive-aggressive communication often stems from an inability to express oneself honestly. While it might seem minor at first, over time, these interactions can erode trust and self-esteem. Recognizing passive-aggressive behavior allows you to address it directly, either by calling it out or choosing not to engage.

Engaging with someone who communicates passive-aggressively can be mentally taxing. It requires you to read between the lines constantly, which can be exhausting and frustrating. Direct communication is key to addressing these behaviors; you may need to set clear boundaries or express how the behavior affects you. Sometimes, people don’t realize they’re being passive-aggressive and appreciate a straightforward conversation. However, if the behavior persists, it might be worth reassessing the value of the relationship in your life.

8. Their Behavior Is Hot And Cold

Hot and cold behavior is characterized by alternating between extremes of affection and indifference. One moment they’re warm and engaging, and the next, they’re distant and uninterested. This inconsistency can leave you in a state of emotional limbo, unsure of what to expect next. The unpredictable nature of this behavior can make you feel compelled to constantly prove your worth. Recognizing hot and cold behavior allows you to step back and evaluate whether the relationship is worth the emotional turmoil.

The rollercoaster of emotions that comes with hot and cold behavior can be tiring and confusing. It often leaves you questioning what you did to cause the sudden shift in their demeanor. By understanding that this is a tactic to keep you on edge, you can regain control over your emotional response. Establishing boundaries and communicating your need for consistency can help clarify expectations. If the behavior continues despite your efforts, consider whether this is a relationship you genuinely want to pursue.

9. They Lie by Omission

Lying by omission involves deliberately leaving out important information to mislead someone or paint a skewed picture of the truth. This behavior is tricky because, on the surface, everything seems transparent until you uncover missing pieces. It’s a subtle yet effective way of controlling the narrative without outright lying. Over time, this can damage trust and make you question the integrity of the relationship. Recognizing when someone is lying by omission helps you maintain a clear view of reality and sets the stage for more honest interactions.

Engaging with someone who lies by omission can leave you feeling manipulated and unsure about what to believe. The lack of transparency makes it challenging to build a foundation of trust, which is crucial for any healthy relationship. Addressing this behavior requires courageous conversations about honesty and integrity. Emphasizing the importance of full disclosure can encourage more open communication. If this pattern continues, it might be a sign that the relationship is inherently flawed and in need of re-evaluation.

10. They’re Withholding Their Emotions

Emotional withholding is the deliberate act of refusing to share feelings or affection as a form of punishment or control. This behavior can leave you feeling isolated and confused, often wondering what you’ve done to deserve such treatment. Emotional withholding is a power play, designed to make you work harder for approval and connection. Recognizing this tactic allows you to break free from the cycle and demands a more balanced emotional exchange. It’s essential to understand that love and affection should not be wielded as weapons.

Being on the receiving end of emotional withholding can be damaging to your self-esteem and mental health. The constant need for validation from someone who withholds it is exhausting and disempowering. Open communication about your needs and boundaries can sometimes dissipate the tension and lead to more vulnerability. If the behavior doesn’t change, consider whether it’s worth investing in a relationship that consistently leaves you feeling emotionally deprived. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and empathy, not conditional emotional exchanges.

11. They’re Guilt-Tripping You For Fun

Guilt-tripping involves making someone feel guilty to manipulate their actions or decisions. This behavior is often subtle, making you feel indebted or responsible for the other person’s emotions. While guilt can be an effective short-term motivator, it ultimately breeds resentment and dissatisfaction. Recognizing this tactic helps you reclaim your autonomy and assert your rights without undue emotional burden. By understanding that guilt-tripping is a form of emotional coercion, you can set boundaries that protect your mental well-being.

When someone resorts to guilt-tripping, it reveals more about their insecurities than it does about your actions. This emotional manipulation can make you feel as though you’re constantly letting them down, which is neither fair nor healthy. Addressing this behavior requires a firm stance on your boundaries and a discussion about your feelings. Open dialogue can sometimes shift the dynamic, but if not, it may be necessary to limit your interactions. Cultivating relationships free from manipulation allows for genuine connection and personal growth.

12. They’re Giving The Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic that involves ignoring someone to punish or manipulate them. This behavior is designed to control the situation by making you feel anxious and eager to resolve the conflict at any cost. The silent treatment can be emotionally damaging, leaving you feeling isolated and insignificant. Recognizing this behavior for what it is—a form of emotional manipulation—can help you resist its effects. Establishing clear communication and boundaries is essential to avoid becoming a pawn in someone else’s emotional game.

Experiencing the silent treatment can create a sense of dread and uncertainty, as you’re left to interpret the silence on your own. This tactic shifts the power dynamic, placing the person giving the silent treatment in control. It’s crucial to address this behavior by expressing how it makes you feel and emphasizing the need for open communication. If the pattern continues, consider whether the relationship is worth the emotional toll. Healthy relationships thrive on dialogue and mutual respect, not silence and manipulation.

13. They’ve Engaged In Negging

 

Negging involves making backhanded compliments or undermining remarks to lower someone’s confidence and make them seek validation. This tactic is often used to create a power imbalance, ensuring the person on the receiving end feels insecure. While disguised as humor or playful teasing, negging has a corrosive effect on self-esteem. Recognizing negging is vital so you can set boundaries and refuse to engage in a relationship built on undermining tactics. True connection should lift you up, not tear you down.

Being the recipient of negging can be confusing, as you try to decipher whether the remarks are intended as jokes or genuine criticisms. This behavior often leaves you seeking approval and reassurance from the person who’s doling out the backhanded comments. Addressing negging requires clear communication about how these comments affect you and a firm stance on your boundaries. If the behavior persists, it may be wise to distance yourself from the relationship. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift and support you is crucial for a positive and healthy self-image.